No Soliciting!

So some of you have already heard this story, but I felt it was blogworthy, so for those of you who haven't, here goes:

I love Costco. I love the deals. I love the samples. I love the crazy moms with 2 full carts of just stuff that they must be taking to some sort of bomb shelter cuz no one can possibly have that many people to feed!

I especially love the gas prices - last time I filled up it was $2.02. Pretty sure its even lower now. But I think I may be rethinking filling up there, because

I HATE THE SOLICITORS!!!!

Has anyone else experienced these cocky, argumentative, loud-mouths in florescent yellow/green vests with their trusty clipboard who won't leave you the crap alone when all you want to do is just fill up your car in peace!?!

They try to get you to sign up for one of their Costco American Express Cards and they do this by trapping you while you fill up your car. There is no way out!!! Everyone knows you aren't supposed to get back in your car after you put the pump in because static could blow your car up, and you aren't supposed to be on the phone because that will also cause static which could once again blow up your car.

So you just sit there by the pump, totally unsuspecting vulnerable prey while they move in on you!

I have dealt with these guys politely for about, mmmm 4 months, but I am done being polite. A few weeks ago, one such solicitor decided, when I didn't want to sign up for the card, that he would harass me. Here's how it went down:

I get out of the car trying to look like a bee-otch, you know, unapproachable so they leave me alone. Nope.

This bald, 30-year-old-guy (I tell you he's balding so you can watch out for him and run in the other direction) waits for me to use my Amex Skymiles card and as soon as he sees what card I used, he pulls out his script for the Skymiles Card and starts his spiel:

Guy (in a flirty sing-song voice): "Uh-Oh. You are in trouble.
Me (pissed already): Why am I in trouble?
Guy: Because you are supposed to use the Coscto Amex Gas Card to fill up here.
Me: No I'm not. I'm supposed to use whatever card I want here.
Guy: Well, have you heard of our card?
Me: Yes I have about 20 times and I am not interested. Thank you.

-So by now he should understand that I AM NOT INTERESTED, right? Right. He is no dummy. Now he just wants to argue.-

Guy (flirty voice gone): Why are you using that Skymiles Card? There is an annual fee. Our card doesn't have an annual fee.
Me (couldn't come up with a good enough comeback so I just spit out): I like my annual fee. (I like my annual fee? Whatever.)
Guy: Well, what's the point of even having that card when you can't use your skymiles during holidays? They have all these blackout dates where you can't use your miles.
Me: No they don't.
Guy: Yes they do. I even did my research. I called Delta Skymiles and that's what they told me.
Me: You did research? Hahaha. Well then you better check to make sure you are calling the right number because whomever you talked to was feeding you a bunch of crap. If there are all these blackout dates during the holidays then how come I am flying during Christmas and not paying a cent?
Guy: Uh...well you can get up to $800 a year back if you sign up for this card.
Me (done filling up so I am walking away from him and heading back into my car): My tickets cost $2,000 buddy, plus I get free companion tickets and a 24/7 concierge (Ok, I don't really use that one, but I could if I wanted to. I'm just not that important of a person to need 24/7 service - or any concierge service for that matter)
Guy: (Inaudible arguing)
Me: Good luck with all that!

Man that guy got under my skin! After I left, I quickly came up with a solution that I put into place the next time I gassed up at Costco.

I made a large sign that said, "NO SOLICITING" and taped it right on my back while I pumped my gas.

And it worked!!! I recommend to all.